


Y or N (Education Variation 06)

by Lucifer_Rosemaunt



Series: Education series [6]
Category: Le Fantôme de l'Opéra | Phantom of the Opera & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-07
Updated: 2014-12-07
Packaged: 2018-02-28 11:09:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2730194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucifer_Rosemaunt/pseuds/Lucifer_Rosemaunt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short ficlet variations on a theme: education/school. This is why you always sign your notes legibly. Rather, this is why you read from where a note comes. Modern!AU, high school!AU, liberties taken with their ages. ErikRaoul slash.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

o.o.o.o

The period before lunch was undeniably one of the worst of the day, maybe only second worst considering the existence of last period. Those last minutes before the day’s end were torturous, moments before he could go finally home, hide himself in the attic of his foster home (he had never had aroom to call his own), and finally be able to isolate himself and work on more important things like his paintings or the opera he had decided to begin to compose on the rather insufficient keyboard he had managed to scrounge enough money to purchase at a garage sale. There was no such reprieve during lunch, however. There were few places he could go to spend the hour uninterrupted: the cafeteria, always brimming with students, was definitely out of the question; food was not allowed in the classrooms and he had been given one too many warnings to tempt his fate again so soon; and the small amount of outdoor space was often crowded with students sprawled out on the lawn and in their little cliques. Sometimes, Erik would be fast enough to secure a location beneath one of the trees by the perimeter of the schoolyard. It was a rare occurrence though. So, more often than not he haunted the hallways, eating only snacks that he could sneak from his pocket.

At least today, the class before lunch was one he shared with Christine and more importantly, one where her desk was immediately to his left. He could spend the time ignoring Trigonometry, drawing in the sketchbook hidden beneath his notebook, and sneaking glances at her. They had been given free time to work on their assignment for the evening and Erik was doing actual class work when someone caught his attention with a whispered _psst_.

He glanced right then left and was surprised to see that Christine had her head ducked low to hide behind the student in front of her. She was grinning in his direction and Erik looked around to see if she was trying to look at someone else. However, she just glanced up at the teacher, who was focused on something on his desk, before extending her hand towards him holding out a slip of paper. Erik looked around once more after taking the note. She just nodded and turned her head to look at someone on her other side. Erik could not be certain because his attention was completely on the small note. With shaking hands, he unfolded the paper which had obviously been torn from a notebook.

He could only stare in disbelief. In slanted and slightly messy print, the note read:

_I like you._

_Would you like to have lunch with me? Y or N (circle one please). You don’t have to say if you like me back._

The bottom was signed with a scribbled ‘C’ that Erik skimmed over. He looked up at Christine, but she was still whispering to someone on her other side. He could not breathe; his heart raced and he was almost inclined to believe that this was some cruel joke. No one else in the class appeared to be in on this ruse and he had never known Christine to be party to such pranks. She was too kind, too beautiful, too perfect and his adoration for her went beyond what could be considered normal because it was all so very justified.

He did not have to think of his answer. Circling the _Y_ with his pencil, he had to stop himself from circling it multiple times. He folded the paper up once more and just before the bell rang that signaled the beginning of lunch, he cleared his throat to get her attention and handed the note back to her. He ducked his head and tried to hide the fact that he was staring at her to see how she would respond to his answer.

To his horror, she did not read the note. She turned to her left and handed it to the same person she had been whispering to earlier. Erik sat up straighter and in a moment of startling clarity, he met eyes with one Raoul de Chagny, who took the note with a hesitant smile sent his direction. Erik turned away with a jerk of his head and summoned the image of the scribble at the bottom of the note. He had recognized a ‘C’ and had thought nothing else of it, but there _had_ been a messy scribble that could be interpreted as an ‘R’ in front of it. He numbly watched Christine walk away and meet up with Meg at the door before they would head off towards the cafeteria where they always ate lunch. Usually, Raoul was never far behind.

Not today though, today there was a body standing beside his desk as he jerkily shoved his supplies into his bag, desperately trying to think of a way to explain the situation. He could just reveal it had all been a mistake but when he finally looked at Raoul, the same boy in his class who was always boisterous and laughing, the same one who charmed everyone with whom he crossed paths, the one who was currently standing by his desk obviously excited yet somehow still subdued, Erik could not find his voice. The other boy was acting shy in a way that he did not think was possible.

Erik had never felt anything towards him except maybe brief bursts of jealousy and anger because of all the time the blond and Christine spent together. He had been certain Raoul had never once spared a single glance in his direction, and that had obviously been a false assumption on his part if the note and the hopeful way Raoul was looking at him were any indication. Maybe he _had_ seen Raoul looking at him before, but it had always felt like glares, warning him away from Christine.

He could hear the deep breath Raoul took to steady himself before speaking.

“It’s just lunch?”

Erik knew he had not meant it to be a question.

“And it doesn’t…” Raoul shoved his hands into his pockets and swayed back onto his heels. His voice was quiet when he admitted, “It doesn’t have to mean anything besides just like, being lunch.”

Erik weighed his options. Raoul was right. It was just one lunch period and Erik had never been good at admitting when he made mistakes. There was also the fallout with Christine that was certain to happen both if he _did_ have lunch with Raoul and if he turned him down now. She would either think him interested in her best friend or a brute for having broken his heart. Even though he did not think he could survive an entire lunch period with someone like Raoul, he stood up and muttered, “I’m not eating in the cafeteria.”

It was hard not to be affected by the smile that lit up Raoul’s face and Erik hated to think that he was not as immune to his charms as he had initially thought. Then again, he had never been looked at with such clear acceptance and it almost made him feel… normal. This was no sideways glance, suspicion and curiosity mixed in with deceitful actions in an attempt to discover what lay beneath his mask.

“Oh.” Raoul let out a brief laugh and it was still shaky. His hands were no longer shoved in his pockets but instead, he constantly opened and closed them and alternated between rubbing his palms against his khaki pants and slipping his fingers beneath his backpack straps. “I know that.” He walked ahead of Erik and it was not until they were in the hallway that he slowed so that they could walk side by side. He often shot glances at Erik with still hesitant smiles and Erik made certain to keep his eyes forward.

“Um.” He stopped walking and Erik realized that they had stopped by his locker. Raoul gestured down the hall. “You wanna grab your books and lunch and meet me in the gym in like five?”

“The gym?” Erik asked. “You aren’t allowed to eat there.”

“Don’t worry,” Raoul replied with a wink. “I got this.”

Erik nodded mutely and watched Raoul jog down the hallway towards his own locker. After he had traded out his textbooks and grabbed the bag of chips and cookies that was his lunch, he headed towards the gym. He could not help the sinking feeling that this was still some sort of ploy. Just outside the gym door, he looked around to see if anyone was paying him any particular attention but there was no one around. The uncertainty of what waited for him on the other side of the door made his mind swim with a laundry list of pranks and jokes that could be made at his expense. He considered just leaving but knew he would not be able to stand not knowing what would have happened.

He steeled himself, frown settling into place as he pushed open the door. Just inside, he paused, not having expected to find the gym empty and dark. Taking several steps in, his footsteps echoed in the open space. He wondered if the prank had been to trick him into going to gym for no reason. It was rather mild as far as pranks went and if anything, Raoul had just given him one more place he could hide during lunch to avoid everyone else. He was about to leave when his name was shouted.

“Erik!”

Up the stairs, he saw Raoul backlit by the sunlight streaming through the double doors that led outside. Erik was not sure if he was more surprised by his presence or by how relieved he seemed that Erik had, in fact, shown.

He waved, “It’s this way.”

By the time he had crossed the gym and climbed the stairs, Raoul was just standing up from having set up their lunch in the portico just outside the doors. No one else was around. Even though they were outside in the shade of the overhang, just several feet from them was the gate that signified the edge of school property. It was chained and padlocked and never unlocked unless there was a big sporting event. Erik had to admit that he was slightly impressed. No one else would think to eat lunch here; it barely counted as remaining on school property, but it was perfect.

Not too far from the entrance, Raoul stood, hands clasped behind his back. Spread out on a handkerchief beside him were a pile half sandwiches, fruit cups, and a thermos with two cups.

Raoul ducked his head and admitted sheepishly, “Yeah, I know. I had hoped you would say yes and all. It seems a bit planned though, right?” He laughed nervously.

Erik shook his head and sat down before he could run away like he was still seriously considering. It suddenly felt so very wrong to share this lunch with him. He thought of all the pranks he had been expecting, the spitefulness and childish callousness that was common in teenagers and he could not help but feel like _he_ was the one playing the prank on Raoul. Erik had never thought himself unnecessarily cruel.

Raoul plopped down beside him, leaving enough space so that Erik did not feel crowded. He gestured to the handkerchief. “Go ahead. I may have made everything myself, but as you can see, I can’t really mess up pre-packaged fruit cups and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Oh!” He held his hands above the sandwiches before Erik could even think to grab one. “You aren’t allergic to nuts, are you?” He cursed and before he could think to take the sandwiches away as he appeared to be planning, Erik replied.

“No.” He admitted, realizing that no one had ever bothered to ask him before, “I don’t have any food allergies.” In fact, he did not think anyone knew that about him.

“Thank goodness,” Raoul sighed.

And, Erik wanted to refuse the food but the expectant look that was fixed on him made him more than willing to do so just to get Raoul to stop staring at him. Once he had a sandwich in hand, Raoul seemed to settle.

“I know you’re not a big fan of eating lunch with the others.” He took a bite of a sandwich and hm’d when he realized he had forgotten to pour the drinks. “It’s apple juice,” he said as he held the cup out to Erik. “There’s a water fountain inside if you just want water or something. It’s not very far.”

Erik shook his head and took the cup.

“Okay, good. Yeah, well and everywhere’s so crowded. I realized this would be perfect because no one really thinks to come here, but I do have to admit I got locked out the first time I came out here.”

Erik glanced at the door he had let swing shut behind him without a second thought. Raoul saw and laughed.

“Don’t worry. There’s like this pin you press on the side of the door to make sure that it doesn’t lock behind you, but I didn’t know that the first time. It was bad. I didn’t have my cell phone or anything and no one could hear me knocking. So, I spent the entire lunch trying to figure out a way back in until I realized that the only way was to climb over the gate. I had to walk to through the front again.” Raoul groaned. “That had been a bad afternoon, but they do make sure not to lock these doors anymore. It doesn’t hurt to check though.”

Erik nodded at the story to show that he was listening, but it did not seem like Raoul expected an answer or any participation in his part of the conversation. He tried to let the chatter drown out the worries that kept creeping into his thoughts, but it was not working. He worried that the other boy would eventually ask if he liked him back or if he wanted to have another lunch or anything that would require Erik to lie. Erik wanted Christine. That was a fact and he had never thought of anyone besides her. He had no idea how to react to the ease with which Raoul seemed to be able to talk to him. The smaller boy was all big hand movements, brief touches to Erik’s arm or shoulder, and embarrassing stories about himself that he merely laughed about and shared with a humility that seemed incongruous with Erik’s opinion of him. He did not stare at his mask, despite the constant looks that Erik was beginning to think was normal considering Raoul had admitted to liking him – and Erik _still_ did not understand that fact at all.

He wracked his brain trying to remember any type of interactions he may have had with him that would warrant any sort of attraction. They had shared classes in the past but held no real conversations with each other. Erik had honestly never thought of Raoul in any other manner besides his relationship with Christine.

And now, after the shock had somewhat faded, he still did not know how to think of him, how to react to Raoul’s confession. The other boy seemed content to just regale him with personal stories and Erik was beyond relieved. However, some point after the second story about how on the first day of school, Raoul had somehow managed to walk into the girls’ locker room by mistake, Erik had stopped counting the minutes until lunch would be over. After his second sandwich, he stopped trying to avoid watching Raoul’s expressions and staring at his hand every time he unthinkingly touched him, and by the time Erik had pulled out his bag of cookies and Raoul took one without even asking, he stopped trying to hide his own reactions and even responded with a few words.

Through it all, Raoul was apparently just himself, still undeniably nervous at times but stubborn enough to keep offering Erik those hesitant smiles that were not related to stories or memories, smiles meant specifically for Erik. It was odd and unnerving and Erik was torn between wanting this lunch to never end and wanting to hide from such regard.

The bell did ring, and while he threw away the trash, Raoul packed the few items that had not been eaten. When it was done, they stood there at an impasse, backpacks on and time passing. The only class they actually shared was Trigonometry, so Erik need not worry about awkward glances throughout class for the rest of the day. Even in Trig, Raoul sat far enough away that there was a buffer of other students and he could just ignore him like he normally did and actually refuse any further invitations to lunch. Things would return to normal and Erik may not have known how to feel about it, but he was willing to accept it as inevitable. He was just about to leave when Raoul stopped him with a hand to his forearm.  

The smaller boy looked to the side as he blurted out in a single breath, “Thanks for the lunch please don’t punch me.”

While Erik was still trying to translate what that meant, Raoul closed the distance between them, rose to his toes and kissed him on the cheek before racing away. Erik’s breath caught in his throat as he stared after him.

Needless to say, he was late for his next class, but he hardly cared. His mind was caught in that moment, the press of Raoul’s lips to his cheek, the brief warmth of his breath and the scent of peanut butter and jelly that seemed to overpower everything else. He wondered if he should feel affronted. Raoul had invaded his personal space constantly throughout their lunch and then to suddenly just kiss him, he should be angry or maybe even disgusted but those two emotions were the furthest from Erik’s mind. He worried instead about the end of the day, expecting Raoul to come and find him and finally ask how he felt in return.

He had no answer still though it should have been obvious.

However, the last bell rang and Raoul was nowhere in sight. Erik made his way outside, ready to walk to the bus stop when he saw a flash of blond hair and immediately zeroed in on Raoul’s retreating back. All thoughts of having to explain to him how he never wanted to have lunch with him again momentarily disappeared. He watched as the other boy waved at the driver of a black sedan, and Erik was surprised when the door opened and an older man with short, light brown hair who looked perfect in his business suit got out and gave Raoul a hug before ushering him to the other side of the car.

Erik could hear Raoul’s pleased laugh and even from this distance he could see the adoration in his gaze. He only belated realized he was glaring at them, glaring at them with something that suspiciously felt like jealousy and maybe betrayal. How dare Raoul smile at someone else like that?

He watched the car drive away and could not imagine what Raoul could have hoped to accomplish by tricking him, by pretending to like him when he had someone else already. There was little he could do about it today though, staring after a car that was long gone, and he reluctantly headed home.

Tomorrow would have more answers.

o.o.o.o

End Chapter 01

A/N: Slightly rushed but posted earlier, right? Why are these getting longer?! There are 2(?) chapters in this variation. Damn these multi-ones and the next one’s not that long, but it was an odd end to this section and it felt wrong to just continue it without some chapter break.

Fic Review: Stupid Erik. Really though. You need to not be blinded by Christine every time you see her, but I did like Raoul’s effort at having a picnic type meal. Oh, and I do believe Erik would not have been able to admit his mistake with saying yes to lunch. No one’s ever wanted to have lunch with him to start with and even though he’s fixated on Christine, I don’t think he would outright refuse anyone’s kindness. And it’s Raoul. _It’s Raoul_. He wouldn’t have been able to say no. No one is immune to Raoul’s charms. No one! And obviously, we know that Raoul’s not dating some older guy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You’re going to hate me for how this is going to end. Updated warnings. (See: angst)

o.o.o.o

Into the next day, with the barest of thoughts, Erik could still feel Raoul’s lips on his cheek. It was distracting to say the least and he arrived at school anxious and hyper alert, wondering what to possibly expect from today. However, as with the day before, his expectations of Raoul confronting him immediately were unfounded. The morning passed uneventfully, and now that he was actively looking for Raoul, he could not seem to find him anywhere. He was certain he would be able to pick the blond out from the throng of students moving as cattle from classroom to classroom. The school was not so large as to not cross paths every once in a while. Yet, they somehow managed. Even during the first break between second and third period, Raoul was nowhere to be seen. Admittedly, Erik had no idea where to even begin to search for him, more aware of Christine’s movements than his, but it was still an annoyance. He worried that he was actually absent.

Thankfully, when he walked into third period Trigonometry, Raoul was in his seat already and his search could finally end. All the questions that Erik had, all the words he had practiced in his head at home instead of composing like he had planned to, suddenly meant nothing because Raoul did not spare him a single glance. Erik stared at him for long moments, long enough that he was certain there was no way he was unaware of his presence. Still, the other boy did not look at him and Erik was forced to take his seat, silently fuming.

Raoul’s inattentiveness should probably mean nothing to him. Class was about to start. Christine was asking him a question. The other boy had yet to even pull out his textbook. There was an abundance of reasons why he should not have looked up as he entered the classroom. Erik, himself, did not even know if Raoul normally would have done so in the past since Erik’s eyes were always immediately drawn to Christine, but it still felt wrong.

Something _was_ wrong, and Erik spent the entire class trying to look through Christine to see if Raoul was ever going to look his direction. It never happened. Once, midway through class, Erik perked up when he saw Raoul pass Christine a note, but she simply opened it and giggled. Erik grit his teeth in frustration. It was becoming all too clear that Raoul was just going to act like yesterday’s note and subsequent lunch had never happened and his first assessment of Raoul having never spared him a single glance would become truth.

He should be relieved. He no longer had to explain the misunderstanding, to decline any other invitations, or to admit that he had come to the startling conclusion late last night in that moment between wakefulness and sleep that he would not be averse to liking Raoul in return, that maybe he had already started to do so. He should be relieved because he could go back to liking Christine instead, but he was not. He wanted to scream and throw his textbooks, flip every desk in his way to get to Raoul and shake the smaller boy for making him feel this way. _Raoul_ had been the one to confess, to act happy and kind and glad to be with him. Raoul had forced this on him with his smile and his eyes and that kiss.

He would not have confessed his burgeoning emotions, had not planned to, but he had perhaps wanted to build something else between them if Raoul had been amenable. It had only been one lunch and Erik had thought for a fleeting moment that it was alright to want more.

Trigonometry ended in a blur and he had actually ignored Christine completely for the sake of focusing on Raoul, but Erik hardly thought about that because he made sure to intercept the elusive boy before he could leave.

Raoul looked nothing besides confused by his presence and Erik clenched his fists at his side to keep himself from physically harming him.

“We need to talk,” he said only because he did not know how or even where to start.

“Okay?” he answered, glancing past him to the swarm of other students. He shifted his backpack and shrugged. “But my next class is across the building and I need to get going.”

Erik stared at him for a long moment, needing to resolve this issue between them right this moment or else he would surely spend the rest of the day distracted and annoyed. He needed to make sure that it had not all been in his mind, that Raoul had in fact confessed his feelings to him and meant it. Against his better judgment though, he let Raoul go and let himself get lost in the flow of the traffic that would lead him to his own class. He felt uncomfortable in his skin. A nervous energy that sought an outlet flitted beneath his skin and seemed to gather in his chest where there was a constant ache. It was not until halfway through English that he realized why. Raoul had not once smiled at him.

At lunch, for the first time in years, he stepped into the cafeteria, stopping right by the doorway in order to scan the tables. The one he wanted was pressed flush against the far wall beneath the large windows. He made his way there, weaving between tables and ignoring both the looks and whispers that were undeniably about his presence here. Having come up behind Raoul, Christine and Meg were the first to see him.

Christine smiled prettily at him while Meg unsubtly kicked Raoul’s shin rather hard if his hiss of pain was any indication. Raoul turned though and spotting Erik did nothing more than turn back around to continue eating his sandwich. Peanut butter and jelly, Erik noted. He stood there once again uncertain of how to begin when Raoul was simply not cooperating. All his practiced words had merely been responses. He had not planned on seeking him out nor confronting him. Everything he now wanted to say sounded too much like a hurt accusation. It revealed too much of how he cared about Raoul’s attitude and he hated that he was so unperturbed by his presence when Erik’s stomach twisted and felt like it was trying to claw out of his body. He glared at him instead, so blindingly angry with him that he could not even voice it.

Before he could figure out what to do, Christine spoke, “Hi, Erik.”

And, he was confused because she had never gone out of her way to speak with him. Then again, he had never walked up to her table during lunch to just stare at Raoul either.

"Would you like to eat lunch with us?" she offered.

Erik scowled when Raoul had no reaction to that, eating his sandwich as though it were the most important thing to him at the moment, and despite his feelings to the contrary, Erik was vindictive enough to nod. "Yes."

The only seat available was the one beside Raoul. When he sat, the chair slid closer so that their arms touched. “Meg,” he gruffly acknowledged her before looking over to Raoul. He and Christine were having some conversation with looks alone that Erik interrupted by saying, “Raoul.”

From this angle, he was almost certain that Raoul glared at Christine before he stood up abruptly, his own chair clattering backwards.

“Sorry ladies,” he paused and although he did not look at him, he added politely, “Erik. I still have that homework to finish before lunch is over.”

Erik watched him leave, completely ignoring Christine’s question about how his day was going. He counted thirty seconds before he made his excuse to leave as well, not catching the way the two girls looked at each other in confusion. However, when he reached the hallway, Raoul was nowhere in sight and he was forced to spend the rest of the lunch period walking the hallways aimlessly and frustrated beyond belief. He considered going through the gym to actually eat in the portico and to hide away. He could calm down long enough to think properly and take into consideration that he was essentially chasing Raoul around the school when he had decided just last night that it would be best to let things settle between them before attempting to make some sort of friendship. He doubted he would ever look at Raoul the same way again, doubted he would walk into a room and not be caught by his presence, but it made more sense to want Christine. Raoul was… an anomaly, who probably had people lined up around the corner waiting for their turn for his attention. And Erik sighed because he sincerely did not believe that, but it was easier to lie to himself because Raoul’s attitude did not make any sense. Why confess and then pretend that it never happened? He promised himself that once he figured out that answer, he would be able to leave well enough alone.

So, he had no other option besides waiting for Raoul at his locker, the number of which he had been forced to ask several classmates for before the end of the day. He garnered quite a number of confused glances when he took up guard but no one dared ask him what he was doing. He was certain he had seen several classmates run with the clear intention of warning Raoul however, and Erik had seen him down the hallway before the other boy had walked away upon seeing him.

He must have realized that Erik was not going to leave any time soon. By the time he gave up trying to wait him out though, the hallways were mostly empty. Erik should have felt more victorious but he could only think of the man that was probably waiting outside for Raoul. He pushed that thought aside; that was of no concern to him. He was here only to find the truth.  

“I would like to get my things please,” Raoul said and when Erik did not move, he continued, “My locker is directly behind you.”

It was all so polite and toneless, not Raoul at all.

Erik sneered at him. “What was that?”

Sighing heavily – one of the few indications Erik had seen of Raoul being anything other than distantly polite to him – Raoul looked around. “What was what?”

“That note,” Erik spat out and took a step towards him. “Was it all some joke? Is that what it was? You were just laughing with your friends about how stupid I was to agree to eat lunch with you?”

Raoul had flinched at his initial accusation and then his expression contorted from surprise to disbelief and finally fury. Erik barely had time to register the quick emotions when Raoul pushed him. The action was so sudden and violent that he hit the lockers and bounced off it. He barely managed to stay on his feet when Raoul pushed him again. This time his hand remained on the center of his chest, pressing him against the locker with enough force to bruise.

“Shut up!” he yelled and raised his hand as though to strike him, but after a pregnant pause where Raoul seemed surprised at himself, he took a step back, releasing him and dropping his hand.

In shock, Erik remained against the locker and distantly, he was glad that the hallways had indeed emptied, not for his own reputation, but because Raoul would certainly have been suspended for such violence. Even in his anger, he knew that being unable to see Raoul for any extended period would only serve to frustrate him further.

“Do you think I don’t know?” Raoul asked, eyes ablaze as he glared at Erik. He grit his teeth and frowned. He raised his hand again and pointed at him. “That I’m blind and I wouldn’t see you watch Christine walk out of the classroom confused and in complete panic when you realized she hadn’t been the one to give you that note?” He dropped his hand. “Well, I’m not blind and I’m not stupid.”

Spittle came out with the force of his last statement and Erik could only stare at a side of Raoul he was sure no one at the school had ever witnessed. He felt his anger fading away only to be replaced by awe and, he was ashamed to admit, desire. It became so very clear in that moment, being able to want someone for their passion and their honesty, for the hurt they could cause you and the hurt you could inflict on them. But the moment passed and Erik was left breathless in its wake, breathing as hard as Raoul was from his outburst.

“So the person that really has any right to be confused and angry and all self-righteous right now is me.” Raoul had stopped yelling, but he was still glaring. “I got my lunch and now I’m giving you what you obviously wanted. Me to not bother you so you can continue to pine after Christine.”

Then, he stood there for a moment, waiting for a response, his expression no longer livid but expectant. Unfortunately, Erik did not have a response. He was still stuck on the fact that Raoul had known the entire time that he had not meant to answer yes to that note but had gone to lunch with him anyway. Raoul _hadn’t_ asked him if he returned his feelings yesterday because he had known the answer already.

But he was wrong. Erik wanted to say he was wrong even though every word he had said like an offense had been true.

Raoul shook his head, giving up waiting for him to figure things out, and Erik did not know why he suddenly felt as though he had failed him somehow.

“Do what you want. Just stop bothering me completely. It’s pointless and I don’t know what you hope to accomplish by –“ he gestured vaguely between them and Erik wanted nothing more than to grab his hand and just make him stop, but Erik himself did not know what he had hoped to accomplish. “- whatever you’re doing right now. Don’t think you can get to her through me. It won’t work. Just leave. Me. Alone.”

He turned heel and strode off, either forgetting or not caring that he had yet to get to his locker.

Erik watched his retreating form, no longer angry but no less confused. He had gotten his answers, but it was not enough.

o.o.o.o

End ficlet

A/N: Worst place to end this, right? Because that is the end. Raoul is the master of avoidance and Erik’s obviously not going to give up on him. You can decide what happens next but since I’m evil, I’m just going to do a word vomit of Raoul’s POV. (I know it could be its own oneshot or an interlude of some sort, but you have to realize that most of my time gets eaten up with editing. That is literally a word vomit (that’s how the first draft of most of my stories happen; thus the inconsistent verb tenses) and it’s much easier to share that than take an entire week to give you it in an edited format. If I were a better writer, editing would not take so much of my time.)

Fic Review:

That day, Raoul had glanced between Erik and Christine when she had passed the note back to him and his heart just totally fell. It had been clear that Erik thought the note and confession had come from Christine. He frowned to himself; after all, it made sense. Erik had looked so excited. But, he had already admitted his feelings and had told himself that today was the day that he would finally get the nerve to not only tell Erik but to see it through to the end. If he could make him spend one lunch with him then he would at least have that hour to remember, be happy that he had tried, and then give up on him. He would not have to spend the rest of his life wondering ‘what if.’

So, he lets himself be selfish enough to pretend he doesn’t know Erik doesn’t want to be there. He does have second thoughts though, feeling badly that he’s basically forcing himself onto Erik. So, he gives him the option of not showing up at the gym and walks away from Erik thinking he was not going to see him again. And Raoul was anxiously waiting at the spot he had found that one day a couple of months ago when he had immediately thought of Erik. He paced and knew he would wait the entire lunch period even if he never showed up, fighting the butterflies in his stomach. But he did show and Raoul had dropped the thermos several times before being able to fix the spread just right just as Erik reached the top of the stairs.

And he can’t help but smile because Erik momentarily stopped scowling. He looked surprised and impressed and Raoul felt proud of himself, proud that he knew enough about Erik to know with certainty that he would appreciate this getaway. They have lunch and Raoul can’t help himself, so he touches Erik a lot to convince himself that the other boy is really there with him because he feels like he might be dreaming and he’ll wake up realizing just how much of a coward he is to not have mentioned once in the three years he’s known Erik how much he has a crush on him. It takes all his courage to kiss Erik on the cheek and so has none to spare to stay around and see how he would react.

He spends the rest of the day in a sort of high, pushing out of his thoughts the fact that that hour is the only one he was ever going to have with Erik. But in the car ride home with Philippe, that high just drops. His brother asks him what’s wrong and Raoul keeps nothing from his brother but he doesn’t really want to talk about it, so he just admits that his crush doesn’t like him back, which Philippe doesn’t understand at all – because who wouldn’t love his little brother? And Philippe tries to make him as happy as he had been when he’d first picked him up, but it only makes Raoul more sad. So, instead, they sit on the couch together and watch sad movies despite it being a school night, so that they’re both crying and no one else in the family thinks twice about their tears.

And in the morning, Raoul steels himself for the day and tells himself that it’s just a crush and he can just as easily find another one. But then Erik keeps popping up and Raoul doesn’t understand. It is the most that they’ve ever come across each other in all the years they’ve been in school and Raoul’s trying to stay calm even though he wants to tell Erik off, but it’s rude and Raoul’s just so very confused. He comes to the conclusion that Erik probably thinks that he’s the best way to get to Christine and he doesn’t think he can take the pain. After all, Erik stayed back when Raoul left the table at lunch to hide in the bathroom, torn between screaming and crying again.

And at the end of the day when Erik stands in front of his locker, Raoul circles the school building at least twice before realizing that Erik’s not going to leave and decides instead to confront him. And confront him he does and he has books in there he needs to do his homework, but the sight of Erik makes him more sad than angry and Raoul can’t deal with that. He doesn’t even know where the violence comes from but it does and doesn’t make him feel any better for have pushing him. So he leaves and Philippe takes one look at him and gives him a big hug.

They don’t go home right away. Philippe takes Raoul to the beach instead so that they can sit close enough to where the waves might lap at their bare feet and Raoul lays with his head on Philippe’s lap for a long while, his brother just petting his head, and he lets himself focus on the ebb and flow of the ocean, staring out blankly at the horizon, until he tells Philippe absolutely everything, from the moment he first saw Erik to the moment that he realized he had a crush on him up to their shared lunch and those couple of hours before. And Philippe, good brother that he is, listens and tells Raoul that maybe he had been wrong yesterday about his crush not liking him back.


End file.
